So it's been a while since I last posted. At first it was because my life was ridiculously uneventful. But then all of a sudden my life got so eventful that I barely had the time to process it myself let alone blog about it. Literally the past week has been, for the most part, confusing. I could probably use some insight from sources other than my friends. Whatever, I'm just going to get down to business here: I have a huge boy problem.
So how do you react when you're hugging your guy friend and he kisses your neck? Nothing hickey-worthy, just a peck, but a kiss is a kiss. Do you a) stop him or b) pretend it never happened? Well, if you're me, you start off with a and end up with b. This boy, we'll call him Mr. Almost Perfect, just randomly out of the blue kissed me on the neck when he hugged me last Monday. He did it once and I was like "Oh, okay, that wasn't real. I'm imagining things!" But then he did it AGAIN. So this time I pulled away from the hug and told him to stop. He kind of brushed it off and so I was like alright I guess it's nothing serious. The thing is, though, it kept happening. The entire week he was giving me these long, perfect hugs and I was kind of sort of falling in love without my knowledge.
But wait, there's more. Yesterday was the epitome of I don't even know what. How do I even begin to describe what happened yesterday? How do you react when the guy friend who's been getting oddly intimate with you spends an hour with his arm around your waist? Do you a) smack his arm away, b) completely panic, or c) pretend that it's normal? If you are me and/or you just make terrible life decisions for fun, you probably picked b and c. And of course, this is my life so there's obviously more to it than just that. I don't think there was ever a moment when Mr. Almost Perfect wasn't in contact with me. When I was sitting up and trying very hard to ignore him, he rested his hand on my knee. When I was trying to take a nap and had my head on his armrest he had his arm just casually thrown around me and it was literally the most comfortable feeling in the world. Which is so mushy and cliche. If I had been falling in love last week, yesterday I was hearing wedding bells. He even asked if he could walk me to class. I'm adding letting him to the list of dumb life decisions I've been making lately. He walked me to class, hugged me, and said "bye gorgeous". I didn't know what to do with that so I just kind of let it lie...
It's all really funny because earlier I always thought he was a weirdo. I've caught him just kinda staring at me from the other side of the room on occasion and I just kind of wrote him off as a creep. But then we became friends, and I was cool until this sudden strange shift in our relationship. We went from friends to... what? I mean, are we still just friends? Is this how he treats other female friends? If it is, he's not doing it around me. Am I being played or is he genuinely just into me? I don't even really want to jump to that conclusion honestly. It sounds really cocky to assume that someone likes you just because they're giving you a little bit of attention. At the same time, this is more than a little bit of attention. On the other hand, the elephant in the room is the fact that he has a girlfriend... I think. I mean, I don't really know the intimate details of his life, but I'm pretty sure he has a girlfriend with a name and a mother that he's met. And if that's the case, what is he expecting from me? All of a sudden I feel like a super slut for letting him do the things he does. I can't help but wonder if I'm being played, or if there's a hidden camera somewhere because no boy has ever taken interest in me until this year. The icing on the "I'm so fucked" cake is that he wasn't in school today, and I missed him. I kept looking for him like he would magically appear but obviously he didn't. The missing him isn't the problem, it's the feelings that missing him imply. Am I seriously harboring a crush on Mr. Almost Perfect? I don't know if I'm an idiot, or if this is all just a case of bad timing. Probably a little bit of both.
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