Friday, April 19, 2013

Hashtag Prom Problems

It's that time of year again, only this time it's my turn. This year is my year. Senior year. This year I am going to Prom. Good lord does that sound nice. I'm going to Prom. I'm going to Prom. I'M GOING TO PROM.

As excited as I am, I'm really not. First of all, this thing is going to cost a small fortune and I have no idea where the hell all this money is going to come from (probably tax returns). I'm trying to keep my expenses as small as possible to ease the burden for my parents, but at the same time it's my Prom and I want to look nice. Not even nice--I want to look hot. In the words of Caroline Forbes, "I want to look hot. Like Princess Grace of Monaco hot." I'm very serious about that bit. I have the dress all picked out too--I'm going to go try it on next week (if it's still in the store). My issue is that my mom really doesn't want to buy my dress online but I have my heart set on this specific dress and I think I just might die if I don't have it.

There's also the fact that I'm currently dateless. I honestly don't see myself ending up with a date. I just don't think anyone is going to ask me. It kind of sucks seeing all these girls get asked with all these cute grand gestures. I don't even need a grand gesture honestly. I just want someone to ask. Who am I kidding, I want Mr. Almost Perfect to ask. Now, when I thought he had a girlfriend, that idea was a far off fantasy that I never really considered. Today, however, I found out that he doesn't have a girlfriend anymore. I don't know when they broke up but out of sight out of mind. Not only am I relieved that I'm not some kind of homewrecker because I let him call me his baby and all that craziness, but the possibility of him asking me to Prom is now there. HE COULD ASK ME TO PROM. Or he couldn't. He's probably not even interested in me that way. He could just be a total manwhore. But he's so sweet!

But back to Prom--I wouldn't mind going dateless, I just don't want to be the only one out of all my friends to be dateless, you know what I mean? My best friend already has a date and I am so sure that my other friend is going to get asked. They're going to eventually be off with their dates and then there's gonna be me. All I want is one slow dance--and to dance with Mr. Almost Perfect for that song. With my luck, of course, I'll end up sitting in a corner alone during the slow dance.

Mr. Almost Perfect Makes a Move... Or Several

It's official... Mr. Almost Perfect is trying to kill me. If the boy gets anymore affectionate around me, I swear I'm going to start puking rainbows. Somehow, the Gods conspired against me (or in my favor, depending on who you're rooting for) yet again today, and I ended up sitting next to him in the auditorium again today. Of course he's excited about the idea, but as usual, I'm determined to ignore him. HA! In hindsight I should've known it wouldn't work.

So first he starts playing with my fingers, and I just had to ask him what the hell he was doing. He, of course, responds that he's playing with my fingers like it's not a big deal. I mean, it's not but it still is, you know? After that, the sequence of events gets a little fuzzy, but here's what I know happened: we ended up holding hands (yes, fingers interlocked and yes it felt good... even if his hands are huge in comparison to mine), he very much enjoyed touching my leg (under the guise of wow, your pants are so soft!), and he kissed me on the cheek. The last one happened so randomly that I didn't know what to do. He just... kissed my cheek. Out of nowhere! I swear, I felt like I was on a movie date or something. There were a few more random kisses, but no actual kissing, obviously.

The best part was when he asked me if I missed him on Tuesday. Please remember that this is Thursday, and  that I did see him on Wednesday. Actually on Wednesday, he told me he'd missed me when I hugged him in the hall. I didn't say I missed him too, I just asked where he was. So it's funny to me that he would bring it up again today, like he really wanted an answer. I told him no, even though it was probably obvious that I did. I really didn't want to inflate his ego nor feed the flame by telling him I missed him. I'm his friend, not his girlfriend. I don;t have an obligation to miss him. That doesn't mean I didn't, but he doesn't have to know that bit. Besides, I made it seem like I was joking so I'm sure he knows that I missed him.

Also he called me his baby and with that, I quit my life.

Wednesday, April 17, 2013

Introducing Mr. Almost Perfect

So it's been a while since I last posted. At first it was because my life was ridiculously uneventful. But then all of a sudden my life got so eventful that I barely had the time to process it myself let alone blog about it. Literally the past week has been, for the most part, confusing. I could probably use some insight from sources other than my friends. Whatever, I'm just going to get down to business here: I have a huge boy problem.

So how do you react when you're hugging your guy friend and he kisses your neck? Nothing hickey-worthy, just a peck, but a kiss is a kiss. Do you a) stop him or b) pretend it never happened? Well, if you're me, you start off with a and end up with b. This boy, we'll call him Mr. Almost Perfect, just randomly out of the blue kissed me on the neck when he hugged me last Monday. He did it once and I was like "Oh, okay, that wasn't real. I'm imagining things!" But then he did it AGAIN. So this time I pulled away from the hug and told him to stop. He kind of brushed it off and so I was like alright I guess it's nothing serious. The thing is, though, it kept happening. The entire week he was giving me these long, perfect hugs and I was kind of sort of falling in love without my knowledge.

But wait, there's more. Yesterday was the epitome of I don't even know what. How do I even begin to describe what happened yesterday? How do you react when the guy friend who's been getting oddly intimate with you spends an hour with his arm around your waist? Do you a) smack his arm away, b) completely panic, or c) pretend that it's normal? If you are me and/or you just make terrible life decisions for fun, you probably picked b and c. And of course, this is my life so there's obviously more to it than just that. I don't think there was ever a moment when Mr. Almost Perfect wasn't in contact with me. When I was sitting up and trying very hard to ignore him, he rested his hand on my knee. When I was trying to take a nap and had my head on his armrest he had his arm just casually thrown around me and it was literally the most comfortable feeling in the world. Which is so mushy and cliche. If I had been falling in love last week, yesterday I was hearing wedding bells. He even asked if he could walk me to class. I'm adding letting him to the list of dumb life decisions I've been making lately. He walked me to class, hugged me, and said "bye gorgeous". I didn't know what to do with that so I just kind of let it lie...

It's all really funny because earlier I always thought he was a weirdo. I've caught him just kinda staring at me from the other side of the room on occasion and I just kind of wrote him off as a creep. But then we became friends, and I was cool until this sudden strange shift in our relationship. We went from friends to... what? I mean, are we still just friends? Is this how he treats other female friends? If it is, he's not doing it around me. Am I being played or is he genuinely just into me? I don't even really want to jump to that conclusion honestly. It sounds really cocky to assume that someone likes you just because they're giving you a little bit of attention. At the same time, this is more than a little bit of attention. On the other hand, the elephant in the room is the fact that he has a girlfriend... I think. I mean, I don't really know the intimate details of his life, but I'm pretty sure he has a girlfriend with a name and a mother that he's met. And if that's the case, what is he expecting from me? All of a sudden I feel like a super slut for letting him do the things he does. I can't help but wonder if I'm being played, or if there's a hidden camera somewhere because no boy has ever taken interest in me until this year. The icing on the "I'm so fucked" cake is that he wasn't in school today, and I missed him. I kept looking for him like he would magically appear but obviously he didn't. The missing him isn't the problem, it's the feelings that missing him imply. Am I seriously harboring a crush on Mr. Almost Perfect? I don't know if I'm an idiot, or if this is all just a case of bad timing. Probably a little bit of both.